Maybe I’m looking for the best of both worlds sometimes. I want to belong, be part of and included in those groups of women that seem to have all the fun together and yet I want space to still be me. That part of me that craves that connection in friendship to other women where we can relate, share and laugh at the things only women seem to understand. Holding those deep conversations about life and the perspectives shared in confidence and sacred space. Yet a big part of me also likes that loner rebel that stands strong and is independent and fierce. I am both these types of woman.
I have always felt on the outside looking in to those groups of women who make up groups of friends. Watching them eating lunch together, taking weekend trips for wine tasting and shopping always gave me that twinge of wanting to ask if I could come too. It sounded fun. You could tell though there was history with these women doing these things together. They had stories and connections that formed their group that would be disrupted by including newcomers. Instead I watched from afar wondering how someone went about having those types of other women friend relationships like that.
There would be times in my life where I did feel part of that type of group of women. Professional mentor groups, friends and neighbors found their way into my life building that patchwork of community connection. It wasn’t on the level of weekend gal pal trips or anything but it filled needs I had for friends. I still craved those opportunities but I felt I had at least found a workable balance for my own needs in this area. It worked and I had some beloved friends in the process.
When I signed up to be a distributor for doTERRA and began building my own business I found a new level of community with women. I had explored other network marketing companies and all promised this environment of connection and community but when I dug deeper I saw a lot that didn’t appeal to me. I wasn’t interested in pursuing traditional spammy sales to drive ranks that separated people. While that is inherent in any direct marketing company I wanted one that didn’t make that their primary focus. I wanted the true sense of women coming together to uplift and support each other professionally and personally in a community of genuineness. Maybe I was just dreaming.
Sure there are people even in doTERRA who are hard core it’s all about the rank advancement at all cost. There are also people who will take advantage of you and steal your ideas as their own. Yet the majority of the culture is not like that. There is actual cross rank up, down and sideways help to each other. There is real connection and community that is honored, respected, inclusive, honest and real. The ones who don’t uphold these values are the ones you can literally see a mile away and they don’t last long.
As I started finding others who were interested in building their own business, I brought forward these values and culture to this smaller group. I am known to say all the time, let’s build this once the right way for the long term. This group of women and I have spent hours dissecting what that means and agreeing we didn’t want to be that community where real conversations, support, encouragement and love for each other couldn’t thrive. We wanted to thrive together. There would be people come and go as there always are in these situations but the core stay. They continue pressing on individually and as a group.
I have come to appreciate the spirit of a community of women working in this way. There was a long time in life I didn’t think it possible because women always seemed to tear each other down, be overly competitive and spiteful. Yet that hasn’t been the case in this situation at all. I think it is directly because of the upfront values we brought together to make this community what it should be and continue to nurture it. We face challenges when something comes up between us and fix them instead of letting them fester.
That truly is the difference I think for so many women who try and give up on these direct marketing companies. Finding those right groups of women to work shoulder-to-shoulder with on these efforts is challenging and so often ends with hurt feelings and lost friendships. Yet when you go beyond the product, company and ranks you often find exactly what you’re looking for to be successful. Having that community behind you is the game changer not only for a successful business and high rank but for true friendships that form.
The common thread in the gal pal groups and these direct marketing teams is the ability to trust and openly connect as real people. When there is the qualities that make it possible for a woman to bare her soul to another woman in friendship and help you have an environment where powerful things can transpire. Life long friendships get formed, success is realized and growth happens. Starting a business should be about a long term revenue plan but it should also be about what it does to your spirit. If it is only about the money and product, you miss the best parts of doing this work.
If you are not in that type of group of women and your business is not thriving from it, contact me. We welcome all women who just want to live naturally and have the community that thrives together. Contact me via chat at dragonspitapothecary.com
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