My most carefree moments when I don’t care what my hair looks like and I can’t feel the waistband of my shorts pinching me, feels so liberating. Where I can laugh, smile and enjoy where I am without guilt about being late for something else that is powerful. Those times when I can openly express what I am feeling and be my most vulnerable without fear of judgement, that is truly living well. These are the expressions of my spirit and too often it feels I must tamp her down, hold her back and prevent her from being seen.
What I know about a natural spirit is we all have one. It is deep within us sometimes not seen except for rare moments when we let our guard down. It is what we feel on the inside and wish we could bring out but are too afraid or have been told it’s not appropriate. We are trained to wear thicker skin through life and a stoic reaction that goes against often what we are feeling on the inside. What I know is the the more I have held back my spirit the stronger she pushes against that door; screaming loudly to be heard, seen and released to the wild.
The natural spirit is our true self. The one that cries at sad endings in movies, feels happy and excited at hugging friends and all the other expressions and feelings we feel. It is our true self in the respect of being able to express in words, actions and expressions how we are truly thinking and feeling without fear of rejection and scolding. Respectfully of course but also for those times we need to scream, vent and get it out so we can see clearly. Yet so often we don’t do these things because we are afraid of what people will say or respond to us. It has been engrained in us that there are just certain places and times where you can’t be yourself and need to fit into the protocols defined by someone else.
What I know about my own natural spirit is the more I have worked to get her out in the forefront the more I have grown. Releasing her has helped me build my own confidence, empowerment and strength to do things I don’t know if I could have otherwise accomplished. My spirit is the source of defying odds. I don’t know why I ever even attempted to contain her other than it was how I was taught to do things. It feels like it took a lifetime to accept her and grow into all that she truly is. I don’t know that my learning and fitting into my spirit are over either.
What I know about this process of releasing our spirit is it requires us letting go of what we should and should not be doing according to society. It doesn’t mean not being unlawful or disrespectful but it is about finding those spaces where we realize the only who has to accept us in this world is ourselves. It may take some time for us to realize this in our life but once we find the courage to try it most of us don’t turn back to how we were before. People will say we changed but in reality we just became who we always were just on the outside. We opened up the side of us we were holding back
To live as one was meant to be in life is our core purpose. Finding that path and being brave enough to take it are another story. We want our children to know a limitless life, better than we ourselves experience but at the same time there is no better guide to our children in achieving that than ourselves. Telling our children to be themselves requires us to set the example of how to do that by living it ourselves every day. Otherwise our children are destined to follow what others show them and in the same path many before are on where they settle in life. What I know about the spirit is its high craving for inclusion and acceptance but also of being recognized as unique and special.
When we take that first step into something new, that first awareness something is different we will feel scared or even anxious. It may not even feel comfortable but going beyond those feelings we can find the path forward that does feel good and builds the momentum for more of what feeds our spirit. In a diet crazed world that we live in so much is focused on the physical aspects of our life yet it is our very spirit that suffers the most deprivation and abuse. Loving our life, really feeling joy in our heart and knowing all that we do is in alignment with our purpose is where our spirit soars.
What I know about our natural spirit is she is always there waiting for us to open that latch. It feels like a beam of sunshine across a morning sky filled with warm beautiful colors. The energy of living and knowing that carefree liberating moment when we can lift our heads up high and smile, while taking a big deep breath. It is reassuring, moving and humbling. I owe it to myself to do this more often I whisper. My spirt though screams let’s do this all the time!
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